15 March 2012

Alcohol-Fuelled Digital Nostalgia

I have been drinking wine and looking at old photographs. This, in my experience, is never a good idea. Every photo I have was taken at a supposedly positive time (what would be the point in taking it if it wasn't, unless you worked in crime scene investigation...and even then...) The reason I don't think that it's ever a good idea is that no matter how good or bad your life may be at this particular moment in time, all of these photos from your past have a rose-tinted filter over them as far as your eyes are concerned and this will make you miss those days. This is bullshit.

I have a photo where I look like I couldn't be having more fun if I had just been gifted a crate of cocaine to snort off of the naked arses of a ship full of high-class hookers, but I remember that it was taken during the 4-5 second part of the night that wasn't awful. This is the one and only photo I have that I can definitely say this about, every other photo I look at represents Christmas-morning levels of pleasure and reminds me of how much fun this or that was, or how I never do things like that anymore, or how I wish I was still in touch with blah-blah etc. They are just fucking depressing.

Two months ago I was grooving on down dressed in masquerade. Four months ago I was dressed head to painfully-enormous heel in drag. My wild/crazy/random/embarrassing days are far from behind me, but I see one picture of a wild night out from two years ago and I start longing for the good ole' days.


So why do I get all nostalgic any time I see myself with a hairline and an extra chin? Because I filter out the shit. Let's look at Christmas day as an example: I remember getting and giving presents, eating enough food to feed Africa and getting drunk enough to think it's okay to talk to my family about my sexual preferences. That's it. Cooking, cleaning, arguing, waiting for family to arrive, arguing, spending an hour on the toilet, arguing - all forgotten. The difference with Christmas is that I remember only the good, then look forward to next years. It doesn't work the same for photographs, I remember the good then assume I will never have that again, and I have no idea why.

The only way I can think of to counter-balance this is to take photo's at the most inappropriate times. "It's over. I've fell in love with someone else." CLICK!
"You're dog has been horrifically ran over by a police K-9 unit on their way to a burning veterinary surgery." CLICK!
"You have cancer of the penis. It only has two limp, impotent months to live." CL*sob*ICK!

So remember when you're out next, snapping everything that happens - one day, it could be the thing that quite literally pushes you over the edge. If spiders don't get you first.


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